John 1:29-42
The two disciples said to him: “Rabbi” – which means Teacher – “where are you staying?” Jesus said to them: “Come and see.”
Jose Hobday…A friend of mine who was a Roman Catholic Nun…joined the Saints of Heaven a Few years ago.
- She grew up in the Southwest.
- She shared with me a liminal experience she had on a Saturday when she was being very difficult.
- She said: It was summer.
- And it was time to go out and play.
- And my friend Wauneta was coming over…but she was not coming yet.
- And I was getting more and more upset…And more and more obnoxious.
- But instead of being helpful and generous around the house I was yammering.
- Where is Wauneta…Where is Wauneta…
- And I went on and on like this.
And daddy after a certain amount of this said…
- Joe…go get a blanket…a book and an apple…and get in the car.
- And I said:
- I can’t…Wauneta is coming over and we have a busy day planned.
- And my father said…do as I told you.
- And he was big…6’4” …you know…you kind of think it over.
I was 12 at this time.
- So…I did…I went and got a book…an apple and a blanket.
- And I was kind of all the way…just crumbling along.
- And then he drove me about 8 miles from home.
- Down to a canyon rim.
- And it was very…very…desolate.
And he said: Get out…and take your blanket and your book and your apple.
- We cannot stand you.
- I do not want you around for the day.
- You stay out here and figure out what makes you decent to live with.
- What makes you decent to be with.
- And I’ll come back and pick you up at six o’clock tonight.
Well…I thought…the heck with him.
- The nerve of him.
- I got out of that car and took my stuff.
- And I was really mad.
- And I thought…I’ll walk home.
- I’ll show him.
And I looked out and I saw the dust of the car going across that desert road.
- And I was really upset…I was really frustrated.
- So…I started to cry.
- And I cried until I remembered there was no audience.
- You know…any good cry loses force if there is nobody to appreciate your agony.
- But I could not get these feelings worked out.
So…I took the blanket and the apple…and the book and I just pitched them over the edge of the canyon as far as I could.
- And it was a long way down.
- But that didn’t satisfy.
- I stamped around up there…I was frustrated…I was mad.
- I thought…the nerve of him.
- I’ll walk home.
- And then I thought of him when I got there.
- And I decided I would not walk home.
- And I felt I was stuck…for the day.
Well…I fooled around like that for about three or four hours.
- Until it was noon.
- And I got so hungry…I was looking over the edge of that canyon.
- To see where that apple rolled.
- So…I finally crawled down…and I recovered my book and my blanket and my apple.
I climbed back up and spread out that blanket under a pinion tree.
- I’ll never forget the blanket.
- It was a Native American patterned blanket.
- Red and blue with green and black borders.
- It was not a good blanket because you did not haul off good blankets to take to the desert.
I spread it under that pinyon tree…and it was the only tree around there.
- And I can still see the gum on the bark.
- And I took that book and I lay down to eat that apple.
- And once I got myself in a position of up-ness…
- Once I looked up through that pinion…
- And saw that blue sky…
- And the clouds were there…and it was peaceful.
- And I was not…I did not fit.
- For the first time…in all that space of the day…I began to look at myself.
And it did not take me too long to see that I was not fit to live with.
- That nobody wanted me around the house…
- Acting like that…talking like that…being difficult like that.
But the longer I lay…and the more I admitted that was not the way to act…
- The more the sky and the world began to talk to me…
- Saying…Come and see.
- Come and you will see.
I got a sense of peace…and then I got to thinking about God.
- And then I got to thinking about getting this sense of peace more.
- And that’s when I got my first understanding of contemplative prayer.
- God was saying to me…come and see.
- There was an experience of solitude…
- That was not empty…that was really good.
- It was good to be there.
- I did not mind it.
- I saw things that I had never seen before.
- Come and see.
- I got a sense of peace and wellbeing.
I began to like daddy again.
- And by the time he came to pick me up…
- I knew I had been wrong.
- I got in that car.
- I did not have to say anything.
- He did not have to say anything to me.
But the impact was that from then on.
- Until I graduated from high school.
- All during the summer…once a week.
- I would take a day and wander out by myself.
- I packed a lunch.
- And took a jug of water.
But I went out by myself…and I finally got so I did not even need a book.
- I could just be alone…for a day.
- I could walk.
- I could look over the rim.
- I could watch the hawks sailing.
- And not be lonely.
- And not be afraid.
- Come and see.
- Be still and know that I am God.
- Come and see.
- Jesus teaches us this kind of oscillation.
- Constantly engaged and forever withdrawing.
- Come and see.
Jesus invites the first disciples…and us…
- To “come and see” the good things that we have shut out of our lives.
- Jesus invites us to break out of the emptiness that imprisons our spirits and hearts.
- Jesus said: “Come and see.”