John 17:6-19
In today’s gospel Jesus is praying.
- He is not talking to the disciples.
- He is not talking to us.
- He is not teaching.
- He is not giving instructions.
- He is praying.
- And we are listening in.
- And what a prayer it is.
What do we hear in his prayer?
- I am not just asking about what he prays for.
- I am asking about what is behind his prayer.
- What is going on in him?
- What is his prayer really about?
The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
I ask those questions because one of the things about prayer is that we never simply offer our words.
- Our words are really an offering of ourselves and the circumstances of our lives.
- There is always more going on than the words we say.
- Our words are just the tip of the iceberg.
- An outward and audible sign of some inner substance.
- And that is true for Jesus in today’s gospel.
It is the night of the last supper.
- Jesus has washed the disciples’ feet.
- A final meal has been shared.
- He has told his friends he is leaving.
- The end is near.
- Judas left the table and went out into the night.
- John says that Jesus is “troubled in spirit.”
Jesus knows his friends will abandon him.
- “You will leave me alone” he tells them.
- Peter will deny him three times.
- Thomas does not know the way.
- Philip wants to see the Father.
- And Jesus feels the world’s hate.
No wonder Jesus’ prayer is rambling and meandering.
- Confusing and repetitious.
- And hard to understand.
- It is less about the prayer and more about what is going on inside of Jesus.
We have all had moments like that.
- When our prayers were rambling and unclear.
- Back and forth…contradictory.
- I mean…moving all over the place.
- Like those crazy little ants on the kitchen counter.
I think this happens on those nights when it seems everything is on the line and we cannot tell if things are falling into place or falling apart.
- They are those circumstances that call everything into question.
- They are times when we wonder what we have really accomplished.
- Did we make a difference?
- Was it worth it?
- What is my life really about?
- They are times when we are overwhelmed by joy.
- They are times when we are devastated by loss and grief.
- They are those times when we are trying to get clarity about ourselves.
- They are those times when we are trying to come to terms with our life.
- Who are we?
- What do we do now?
- Do we have what it takes?
They are the transition points.
- Thresholds…moments…and circumstances when we are trying to make sense of ourselves and our life.
- Moments and circumstances when we are working out our life.
- And struggling to be authentic…faithful…and whole.
This is what we see and hear in Jesus’ prayer today.
- He is not as different from us as we often think.
- Or sometimes want him to be.
- Today we see the human Jesus standing in solidarity with us and our humanity.
- Today we see the human Jesus working out his life.
- And all of us here today know what that is like.
I was driving…on my way to see a family.
- It was 1974.
- I was 26 years old.
- It was my first parish.
- It was my first death in the first church I was serving in my ministry.
- It was 50 years ago.
- I was scared to death.
- And here I was…supposed to minister to a now grieving wife…amid her husband’s death.
- And my meandering prayer rose to God as I drove to that sorrow-filled home.
- O…MY…GOD…!
- I AM WAY TOO YOUNG TO DO THIS THING THAT YOU ARE ASKING ME TO DO.
- HELP…ME…!
- I…AM…TERRIFIED…!
- I…CANNOT…DO…THIS…!
- I…AM…NOT…UP…TO…THIS…!
- O…LORD…HELP…ME…IN…MY…DEPAIR…!
And I went into that home…and I sat with them in their grief.
- I helped my mournful friends make phone calls.
- I ministered to them in the planning of the funeral liturgy.
- They were a Swedish family.
- Their name was Nelson.
- So…we drank coffee and ate cake.
- And it was enough.
- And I was a blessing to them.
- And they were a blessing to me.
So then…what are we working out and struggling with today?
- And what does our prayer look like and sound like in all that?
Today’s gospel offers us a way forward.
- And it is not what Jesus does.
- But it is what he does not do.
- He does not isolate.
- Or close in on himself.
- He does not get angry or resentful.
- He does not resist or fight back.
- He does not run away or try to escape.
- He does not complain about…
- Or deny the reality of what is happening.
- He does not blame others.
- He does not give up.
- He does not search for an answer to fix it all.
Instead…he faces his life.
- He is doing his own inner work.
- He acknowledges what has happened.
- He names his reality.
- He stays in touch with his humanity.
- He speaks from the heart.
- He feels what he feels.
- He grieves.
- He weeps.
- He gathers with his friends.
- He is concerned for others.
- He prays.
- He lives…and dies…with an openness to a future he cannot control.
What about us?
- What if we took our cue from Jesus?
- What would that look like in what we are working out and struggling with today?