John 20:19-31
It is kind of odd how we have named Thomas “Doubting” Thomas.
- We don’t give the other characters in the New Testament little nicknames.
- Like needy Nicodemus or Co-dependent Martha.
- But poor Thomas is stuck with Doubting Thomas.
Yet the fact of the matter is this:
- When Jesus encountered Thomas…hedid not judge him.
- Jesus did not label him “Doubting Thomas.”
- He came to Thomas just as he was…doubts and all…and offered him…not judgement…not name calling…but peace.
The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
I think our gospel text for today is about God taking us just as we are.
- I mean…just a week before was the night of the first Easter.
- And I suspect that having denied…betrayed…and abandoned Jesus…
- The disciples were really wallowing in their shortcomings.
- Wondering…what had they done.
- It would not be a stretch to think they were passing around blame and justification for the death of Jesus.
It really was the fault of the Priests who condemned him.
- Or…there just was not enough room for them at the foot of the cross with all those women there.
- Or maybe if that shady Judas had not sold him out this would not have happened to begin with.
- And on and on and on.
It’s kind of what we do when we know we have really blown it.
- Because the truth of our own shortcomings is often too much for us.
- So…we either tend to make our faults about someone else.
- Or we try to make everything about our faults.
- Both of which are just two different forms of vanity.
But anyhow…there they are a few nights after Jesus died in their cozy little locked room.
- Blaming themselves…blaming others…and trying to figure out what in the world that oddball Mary Magdalene meant by:
- “I have seen the Lord”.
And it is here…in the middle of doubt and fear and locked doors…
- In the middle of blame and justifications…that the disciples encounter the risen Christ.
- It is here that Jesus chooses to appear to his beloved Christ deniers…
- Those he loves…who abandoned him.
Because notice that the text does not say:
- “And when they had repented of what complete idiots they had been.
- And when they had perfected their faith and the purity of their doctrine.
- And when they had achieved the right condition of personal morality.
- THEN they were worthy of receiving Jesus.”
No. There they sat. Fear…doubt…betrayal and I suspect more than a little shame.
- But it takes more than shame and locked doors to keep Jesus out…you see.
- In fact…when we are at the point in life when our failings and shortcomings are so raw.
- When we are at the point in life when we have blown it completely.
- It is then that God comes to us just as we are.
- Bringing us peace and even forgiveness.
It is just like God to barge in uninvited through our fear and locked doors to remind us…like it or not…
- That we are more than the sum total of our bad choices.
- And that we are even more than the sum total of our good choices.
- You see…God is always saying an insistent “I love you” to all our polite insistence of pushing him away.
One week later their friend Thomas…who missed it all the first time…was with them in that same room again.
- He had said a polite “no thank you” to the news that Jesus has risen from the dead.
- It is something we have all done and yet we call him the doubter…
- As though it makes him somehow marked.
- As though Thomas doubts…and we do not.
- The only way this would be at all fair is if we all shared his name like:
- Oh…there is Doubting Pastor Chip.
- And Doubting Bill and Doubting Marilyn.
- Well…we are all doubters.
And it is not something to freak out about.
- Because doubting is not theopposite of having faith.
- It is a componentof having faith.
- Doubting means that we have not forgotten the story.
- Doubting means that we do not have it all figured out.
- But the best thing about doubting is that…at least it is honest.
So…if you are a doubter like me…then it’s ok.
- But you should be prepared for something.
- I experience it all the time.
- It is this thing I call tests of doubt.
- Not tests of faith…but tests of doubt.
- And we should all watch out for them.
You see…when I was sure that this whole Jesus thing had nothing to offer me.
- When I had gone through a severe period of skepticism.
- When I had been so clear about my dislike for organized religion.
- When I thought I had unwavering rock-solid doubt.
- I wandered into a church that challenged all my certainties I had about the Christian faith.
This was my great crisis of doubt.
- When I was welcomed into a campus ministry Lutheran parish in Decorah Iowa.
- And was so freely given absolution and grace and a literal chunk of bread.
- Which I was told was Jesus and it was for me.
- I slowly began to lose my doubt.
- So…watch out for this…watch out.
Because whether doubt is something that we fear or something that we foster.
- Be prepared for it to be tested again and again by the Christ of God who rudely barges through locked doors.
- A God who takes us just as we are.
- A God who is always saying “I love you” to all our polite insistence of pushing him away.